I have some strange news for you! Late last night several citizens reported strange activity occurring around Larry’s Happy Toy Motors—you know, the shop just on the corner of West St. and Nearly West Rd., owned by Larry, who’s name is actually Westley. He traded with Larry after a certainly entertaining amount of competition between the shop and Westley’s Raging Car Wheels.
Back in the day, you could easily go early and camp out between the two streets to watch as the competition of clock-throwing began. It had to have been extremely time consuming (if you know what I mean), yet very entertaining to see. Not to mention the fact that the street was just wide enough to block off the road for nearly two days and camp in. You could get up really early and sleep the night away with complete strangers that you then knew had the same interest in entertainment as you. Those were very relaxing times. But it all has to end somewhere, and of course, with the number of government inspectors coming in and investigating North Nebrichigan’s land, we had to keep that road open for all of the cars. So, as police had it, they officially switched the owners of the shops, and now they only compete over text messaging. As which was planned.
Nowadays, we’ve heard many of these strange reports as I mentioned previously. No one yet knows why everyone asks for small, wooden wheels for such huge cars. Even Westley comments on the strange observation, “I don’t quite understand why, but maybe it’s because of those government representatives that discovered our land.” Westley explains the story of how those two men who discovered our small state bought smaller, more doll sized wooden wheels to fix their car, and remembered how effective they ended up being. “Maybe that’s why. Many must admire how they fit into the cars of such highly respected workers of the USA, so they must’ve tried themselves. ‘Thing is, they work amazingly in place of flat tires. Don’t know how Larry switched shops without puttin’ up some sort of fight. Hah.”
After a long conversation with Westley, we decided to interview some citizens who recently bought these wooden wheels to fix their car. “They’re amazing. Just stunning. A toy? Nothing like that. This wheel ain’t toyin’ with me! Hahah.” Mr. FiggleSnapper, the husband of Mrs. FiggleSnapper (the community cat lady), had commented on the situation in defense of the shop, “Not to mention, they spin two different directions while you drive! Now ain’t that interestin’.”
Now this isn’t the only problem that we have. Many customers and passersby have heard low screeching from the alley down in between Westley’s shop and Five Highs Low Ties. Many have attempted to investigate further, and many have found various causes, but, as expected, they never returned. Those who have, lost their voices, and with some, their ability to lip sync. No one seemed to return with any information due to these situations.
No one will ever know the story behind these screeches . . . But for now, all who hear are expected to ignore it immediately and go on with their lives thinking of it as beautiful pitches of acapella, as Harry Rimesworth, president of North Nebrichigan, thought before so many investigators went missing. Who knows if that really is the case at hand. Until we know for sure, we shall block off that alley with signs that read, ‘Danger, Acapella Practice, Move on and DO NOT Trespass’. All citizens are to move on and at least be ten feet away from the alley in order to stop. Loitering is prohibited around that area, and anyone who stops even just for a moment will be taken to police HQ—if they do not disappear before police arrive to take them away, that is.
Remember citizens, it is only appalling Acapella that brings the disappearance of many who stop to investigate, only Acapella. Please report any more evidence of strange activity, and please do so in a legal position, such as standing at least ten feet away from the scene. Thank you.